I'd be lying if I said that I couldn't connect with my joy today but to be honest, at least on a superficial level, today my joy is definitely being jump-started by (if not directly linked to) a huge, 4-shot-mint-kiss-latte at my coffee shop/office.
Which brings me to the question: does fake/artificially-induced joy count?
When I google "benefits to faking happiness," I get titles like: "Sparkle and Glitter," "Happiness May Help Protect Against Heart Disease," and "Fake It Til You Make It." One article explains that "even faking it has its benefits as the prolonged practice is habit forming and you start eliciting positive vibes from people (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life/health-fitness/health/Make-happiness-a-habit/articleshow/5913122.cms) --in other words, make it a habit even if you feel it's not genuine, because your brain adapts to repetitive behavior and thought patterns, and will actually begin to respond to your happy behavior as if it were coming naturally, and not being worked at. In addition, whether you believe in the power of energy attraction (whereby the positive energy you put out will be reflected back to you by others around you), acting happy around others will have a positive affect on their mood, thus affecting you.
In addition, there's some proof that just our expressions alone can have an affect on your physical well-being. From Berkeley.edu we learn that "facial expression alone, without first feeling the corresponding emotion, is enough to create discernible changes in your autonomic nervous system." So we're learning that if one makes an angry expression, the body can begin to release adrenaline and your heart rate may speed up as if you were actually angry. Conversely, fake a smile (even by simply holding a pencil between your teeth) and your body will begin to release a small stream of feel-good chemicals into your system.This alone can be enough to produce a calm feeling, and a general sense of well being.
So, what to do if you're having a day where you are finding it hard to connect with any joy? Here are some tips that I go to when I want to shake off a funk and reconnect with the bounty of happiness and blessings in my life.
1. Reconnect with myself
I do this in a variety of ways, depending on where I am and what's available to me. My favorite is to stand barefoot on the earth, hug a tree (yes, even in front of people), lie in the grass, and if it's available to me, swim in salt water. Other ways include deep breathing exercises in front of our alter at home (including meditation, repeating affirmations, burning sage, etc), Or simply closing my eyes wherever I am, breathing deeply a few times and exhaling through my mouth, and imagining myself standing barefoot on the earth.
2. Laugh
Any way you can. Look up animal bloopers on youtube, read a favorite comic, call a funny friend. If you have a dog, try tying a balloon to their collar and watch them have a blast trying to jump up and bop the balloon. :-) That always works for me, but not with my dog, sadly.
3. Make a list
Sounds simple and I'm sure you've heard it before, but one of the easiest ways I connect with my joy is to acknowledge the ways in which I feel blessed (and it takes me two seconds to make at ten-item list) and offer a silent little prayer of gratitude for the items on it. Some of us forget how blessed our lives can be, at least until we hear a sad story from someone and think, "At least that isn't happening to me."
4. Extend myself to someone else
Again, simple, but feels really good. I've gotten a lot of internal grinning from offering an arm to an elderly person crossing the street, writing a supportive letter to someone in a grave situation, giving something away to someone, being an anonymous angel to someone in need.
5. Last but not least: check how I'm nourishing myself
Often when I'm unhappy, something is missing -- there's some self-care that I'm neglecting. Am I feeling lonely or touch-deprived? Single people need to pay attention to this. I have a work-trade with a masseuse friend to keep my touch-needs met. Am I feeding myself healthy food? Drinking enough water? Taking time to ground and center myself? Paying attention to my visions and intuitions? Feeling heard by friends? Giving myself enough down/play time? Often one or more of these things are missing when I'm feeling disconnected from my joy, because when I really stop to think about it, joy is my true state of being. So to lose touch with it generally signifies some disconnect with my SELF.
I'd love to hear from you. Do you fake joy? How do you fake it? How does it work for you?
Thanks for reading. And may you connect with your joy in more ways than one today. For more information about how to connect with the joy in YOUR life, call (917) 971 5347 for your FREE 40-minute "Intention: Connection" session. This taste of life coaching with me will bring you clarity about where your needs for more joy are. Life coaching is a great way to be fully supported and guided in finding your way to the life you LOVE to live. You can also check www.InArmsCoaching.com for more info...
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